Effective communication - Adapting to the person

Adapting your communication style

Adapting your communication style means analysing how a person prefers to communicate and/or what the situation requires, and adapting the way in which you communicate to suit.

This helps you to ensure that you're not just communicating messages, but communicating in a way that projects professionalism, builds relationships and positively influences the actions of others.

In the workplace we are required to communicate, build relationships and influence people from all walks of life. In order to do this successfully, we need to understand individual differences and use this to guide how we communicate with others.

Communication preferences

Communication preferences refer to the way we engage with others and communicate information. While you will be very similar in your preferences to some people, you will be very different to others - and it's important to be aware of these differences when communicating for two reasons:

1. People like people who are like themselves. Adapting your style to meet someone else's shows that you are similar to them, and they will like you more. The more they like you, the easier it is to influence them.
2. People will feel more at ease if you give them information in the way they best process it (i.e. details or big picture). For example, if you just give a big picture overview to someone who needs details, they are likely to feel anxious about the lack of information you have given them. Conversely, a big picture person is likely to feel frustrated if you bog them down with detail.

How does it work?

People tend to be a mix of the following:

• Direct OR Indirect
• Detail oriented OR Big picture oriented
• People focused OR Task focused

The idea is that you flex your style to be a better fit for the other person. For example:

• If they are direct - Get to the point without the small talk.
• If they are big picture oriented - Give them a high-level overview rather than getting into the details.
• If they are people focused - Show interest in them as a person as well as a professional.

It is important to note that this is not about trying to alter your personality every time you communicate. Just make an effort to ‘flex’ your style to meet the other person's style - it’s a compromise.

Good to know...

To get a better understanding of your communication style and the communication styles of your team members, we recommend completing a DISC assessment.

Relationship dynamics

Relationship dynamics refers to the nature of your relationship (i.e. manager, employee, customer, colleague) and the quality of your relationship with the person(s) that you are communicating with.

A good general rule to use is that the less established the relationship is, the more formal you should be. You can always loosen up your approach as you go if the other person is very relaxed.

Example 1:

John is meeting with a customer for the first time. In an effort to build rapport he takes a very casual and familiar style and addresses the customer as if she and John were old friends. While the customer finds John to be friendly, his approach has made him seem unprofessional and she is uneasy about using him as a supplier.

Example 2:

Sarah is meeting with her new manager for the first time. Given the lack of established relationship, Sarah plays it safe and adopts a formal/professional style. As it turns out, her manager is very casual and so Sarah relaxes her style slightly to be more like her manager's.

Just be aware that not all situations are created equal. Just because you have a good relationship with someone, doesn't mean that a casual approach is appropriate for every situation. We will cover this more in the "Adapting to the situation" section next..

Personal differences (values and beliefs)

Everyone sees the world through a different lens. We all have different life experiences, different values and different views on how the world operates. This affects how we communicate and how we interpret the messages and actions of others.

In order to navigate this issue, there are a few things you should and shouldn't do:

1. Avoid communicating about sensitive issues. Whatever your personal beliefs are, it's best to keep them to yourself. Certain topics - e.g. religion, politics, are a sure fire way to offend people, damage relationships and potentially land yourself in hot water.
2. Make an effort to get to know people. As you establish better relationships with people, take interest in them, ask questions and try to understand what makes them tick. The more you know about them, the easier it is to deliver messages that resonate with them.